That Time Grandma Was a Hooker

I was watching an episode of Three's Company at my Grandma Bernice's house where an undercover cop thought Chrissy was a hooker. Chrissy got all insulted by the accusation and was complaining to Jack about it. I didn't know what a hooker was, so I went into the kitchen where my mom was putting curlers in my grandma's hair.

I asked my mom, "What's a hooker?"

She looked shocked and then looked at my Grandma with a stressed look on her face. "Where did you here that word?" she demanded.

"TV. Some guy called Chrissy a hooker."

"Turn that garbage off!"

So, I turned off the tv and returned to the kitchen and asked again, "What's a hooker?"

My mom looks at my grandma and then looks at me. She blurts out that a hooker is someone who hooks things. She then motioned like she was knitting and said, "You know... they hook things like mittens and hats and stuff." She seemed pleased with her description and I was satisfied with that explanation, although why would Chrissy be mad that she hooked mittens? Adults are weird, so I just shrugged it off.

Well, months later my Great Grandma Norine knitted me a hat and some slippers. I was really excited about my new slippers and bragged to my third grade teacher that my Grandma was a hooker. I wonder what my Catholic school teacher thought about that.